Monday, March 31, 2008

Lost..




Sometimes things going on around my life just makes me thinking. What do I want in life? Being the age of 23 and soon to be 24 I still can't decide what I really want in life. As stressful I am thinking about it over and over again I just seems not to have any ambition towards my life in the future. I don't even know what or where do I see myself in 5 years time to come.


Everyone in my life seems like to move on so perfectly. Having better educations, better jobs, getting married, having kids on their own and so on. Me? I just have, nothing. The time when my life stops improving was after my poly days. After I was kicked out from school, which lots of my friends keep saying that I QUIT, it just stop.


Love suck and I don't even know what is actual love. What was the true reason to have a companion by your side? What does watching movie with the person you love most was suppose to mean? What does spending time with the person you love suppose to make any difference from your own friends? Does having a companion means you have a new life or is it important to have a companion?


My opinion, they are just same normal people around you. There's not much different from your own friend. Just that friends don't kiss, hug you while watching a movie or sent you home to your door steps and give a peck on the side of the lips before you close the doors. So was that the reason why we want a companionship in our life or was it another reason? What is it?


Jobs. I'm ok with anything. You teach me, I learn and I'll do my job to the fullest. Not giving myself credit but this is what I see about myself when ever I got a job. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (CBTL). One of the job I enjoyed the most. First it started awkwardly and too many things to remember but soon after I could do things with my eyes close. Not literally though. Then I started meeting new people, hearing work gossips, late nights makan sessions and not forgetting clubbing sessions. Haha. Sadly it ended when I got myself into army.


Then in the army was my most peaceful days of my two years life. I didn't had to worry about school, work or a job. All I had to do was make my sergeants and sirs happy and I'm free to go. Even if I had to be their dog it was perfectly fine to me because I know I didn't disturb them so they won't disturb me.


Now army had ended and I planned to go back to school to start fresh. While waiting for results I start to work part time in a photocopying shop. Easy job and seriously was much better then CBTL. Sadly plan didn't go well as my application wasn't successful. Shit happens. Best of all I didn't have a contingency plan. I was seriously hoping so badly to go back to poly. I guess NYP barred me forever from going to another poly then or it wasn't just my luck.


So what do I do next? I guess I can't help it then, learning how to drive. Since it's my mum's wish and she's sponsoring me so I'll just take that offer. I don't want to go back CBTL just as yet. I want to try new other jobs. FnB are just a playing thing to me. I want to try like office and want to know what do they mean by office politics and stuff. Then again with my only O level certificate I guess I can't go anywhere much.


I guess my life couldn't get any much better or it could be in a slow pace right now. Well either way I hope it could just speed up a little bit. As of right now I just feel like being alone is the best thing for me. Need to do a little of soul searching. Not on love but my life. I just need to find a purpose and a reason for me in this world.



I really miss my army life.

RedRulz.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Thoughts..



As of now that I start to type, it's already 1:16 AM. I'm sleepy but I don't know why I still have this urge that it's either today or not ever. Haha. Stupid as it is or maybe I just want to have a say here in my blog. I guess I have lots to say. Or maybe little.



Bangkok Love Story.

A movie that I've watched recently. Yeah. Gay movie. Rated 21 and I wonder why. For what I know all R21 movies have sexual scene that reveal naked scenes like either butt naked or breast. In this case there's no breast since it's a gay movie but you'll never know unless you've watch it right? Well there's isn't any naked scene or breast. They make it R21 because it's two guys kissing each other passionately with them wearing only their undies. Yes. That's all. I believe the 'sex' scene was cut completely.

Anyway the movie was about an assassin(Cloud) and a witness(Stone). Basically the assassin was suppose to kill the witness but in the end help him out because he was hired by someone he despise. Protecting Stone from being shot Cloud took the impact and after they escape Stone willingly took care of Cloud. Funny that after their intimate scene, both have a so called dark past.

In school Cloud was already in love with a guy secretly but at the same time he fell in love with a girl. Bisexual. Cloud was molested when he was young by his step father which I guess his sexuality gotten confuse there and he was uncertain of it. Curious confuse. Haha. Weird but true.

I won't really say the whole story of it but just a gist of it. Tragic sad ending that I concluded their love were never meant to be.

After the show ended, I actually could count how many watched the movie. Exact number. 10. Including me. Haha. Can't blame though as the only time slot they had was at 1:55 AM. So on the way down to the first floor in the lift this girl and her friend or maybe boyfriend asked him this question,"So, was the movie promoting homosexuality?" If I could burst into a loud laughter, I would have but I have to keep my insanity to myself.

I just can't imagine how can that show be a promoter of homosexuality? It's just a show and a movie. A fiction. If you like, you could take it as this way, gays are all around you. Could be your colleague, your school pals, you best buddies or even your family. If an assassin could be gay and so as someone who's about to be married be gay or bisexual, I guess there's no wrong in assuming that maybe the guy who always walk closely to a guy to be gay. Haha. Still they could just be old pals or childhood friend or brothers. Still you never know. Haha.



Reunion.

Last Sunday, Ririn, ShieldLeo, M.Zul and me had a small reunion with our beloved P.Ross that came back from Brunei and this time she's staying for good. I guess the 'family' is back and hopefully we could be our old self again soon going for scary night trips and night cruising to 'famous' places. Haha.

So far the instant plan we had was to overnight at Pulau Ubin at Nordin Beach. Pulau Ubin is already freaky to me but overnighting there, now that will be totally shitting in my pants. Stories of Ubin being haunted seems like getting more and more real to me. People always advise to go during the day and make sure to leave by 6pm or the last boat trip back to Singapore. Had no idea why but even the boat have it's stories. One of my friend took a picture in the boat going to Pulau Ubin and guess what? He got a welcoming hand on his right shoulder.

Goodness I must have been insane to write about this especially at this hour. MALAM JUMAAT! Goodness I totally forgot about it. Hopefully nothing happen though. Even though I've already felt the warning signs. Let my type a few more ok?

So about the trip to Pulau Ubin, I'm scared as well but it'll be one of an experience though. For camping overnight I just can't wait to play with fire. Love camp fires. Haha. Remind me of the old times I had in Brunei training but never like the walks though.



I guess that's all I've got to say. My eyes are getting heavier by the seconds and yes, I hear the bed and the pillows calling me and the gateway to dreamland is about to open. I guess I'll just finish up the blog here. Wow! The fastest blog update I had. Now is 1:57 AM. 41 minutes. Personal record I guess. Haha.



RedRulz.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

PLAY





Been a while. Well more like been a long time. Haha. Didn't realize that I didn't update my blog for so long. Either I didn't know that time was moving too fast or I didn't visit my blog. I guess I almost forgot that I had a blog. Haha.




So what have I been up to? Nothing much. Sleep. Walk. Work. Paper cuts. Backache. Headaches. Smoking. Movies. Eating. Bathing. Grooming. Going out. Clubbing. Oops. Haha. ShieldLeo and Ririn so gonna kill me if they finds out I went clubbing recently. Haha. Still it's not just your ordinary club. This is PLAY.




There have been two clubs I went recently so far. As I can remember, Double O and Ministry Of Sound. Most frequent is definitely MOS. Hope you guys don't mind the abbreviation as MOS looks almost like Mos burger thing. You get the picture.




So you go to a club. Double O or MOS. What's common you see? The people and drinks. Both have good crowds and sure for every guys dream. Hot chicks and great music. The guys will dress up like either they were to look like some hot rappers or some daddy with thick fat wallets. Make some cool moves and reciting the song as if they were their own song.




Another common thing you will see that the girls will looks their best as more commonly I would say, One Night Stander Slut. Revealing cleavage and tight fitting wear and thick make ups and sparkling blings just to get the guys attentions. Oh not forgetting the butt grinding and sexy moves to attract the guys. As usual once they get the guys attention, they'll do what they do best.




What do guys do in return? Ah. Damn normal. Get their numbers and next thing you know, hook up for a night or save it for later. After use don't forget to pass around. Haha. That's what I've been hearing from my friends when I was in camp. Maybe not totally heard but it seems that's what been going around.




Still if not flirting is being done in a clubs, there's always fighting. Not happy with one another because their penis are bigger then the other or smaller so they want to bash up each their to grab and take it for themselves. Or maybe the ladies sees someone with bigger breast or smaller so they thought they want to try if their breast slapping is good or not.




Still, let's not lose hope on humanity just as yet. Maybe there are still some good girls and boys out there that goes to club just to have some music fun and dance or just mingle around to broaden their social life. In a good way of course. So what's my point about PLAY?




Before you read this part which I believe going to be a short one I got to warn you first. If you are NOT an open minded person. Leave. If you think you KNOW it all. Leave. If you BELIEVE this world is all about law. Leave. If you THINK politics rocks. Leave. If you SAY being a homosexual is disgusting. FUCK OFF.




Yes. PLAY. It's a gay club. Funny, weird but true. I went to a gay club. Well it wasn't my first time though as I went to Ynot or was it called Why Not before. Sure I miss that place seeing the drag show with them cracking their jokes and stuffs. Still it was my first time to PLAY. Not that big but sure the crowd was huge. Yes. Many. Yes. BANYAK. Ririn, I'm sure you would drool if you see what I saw that day.




Look left, look right, look in front and look behind you. Guys were every where. Gorgeously looking. Hunks. Handsome faces. Well everything is like top to the max. Well ladies before you get excited, it is a gay club. So there's a possibility they are gay but you still could have your chances if he's a bisexual. Haha.




Talking about ladies. I believe the club didn't say Guys Only. So there was girls around there too. Yes they are the real deal. Skinny arms and legs and the most important, no Adam's Apple. Oh. If only I brought my see through clothes glasses, maybe I could see if she got balls or not. Haha. Right. I'm sure they are girls just having fun with their friends.




Music at PLAY was ok. Electro mix kind of stuff. All are mixes of the famous songs.
Fast beat, cool atmosphere and definitely enjoyable. By a reliable source Friday they play hip hop and RnB songs. Only Saturday they play electro mix. So what's so good about this club? Well one thing for sure, you don't have to worry getting yourself beaten up after the club just because your penis are bigger than his or smaller. Yes I know what you are thinking but I don't think they would do it. Unless you give in. Haha.




Frankly, I believe most of them went with their partners. Yes. As disgusting as you might think it was pretty ok for me. YES I know what you are thinking but still we are all humans anyway. Go and watch Queers As Folks. Welcome to the real world. Pretty much they were just huggings and kissings. No if I know what you are about to ask me. No sex allowed in a club remember?




Reminds me that long time ago I went to a club called Cheeky Monkey. Their toilet provide a condom dispenser. I wonder what's that all about. PLAY? Nope. Didn't see any. Anyway their toilet is an open one for the guys, ladies don't worry they have a closed door toilet for you. Well it's more like a unisex toilet.




So how do they dance? Haha. Most of them are like standing around looking at the dance floor. As I was too short and damn the tall guys around there I couldn't really see how they dance on the dance floor. Pretty much all of them just there looking as they are having fun with the music. As normal it would get, you would see more couples kissing and hugging while they were dancing.




Didn't see anyone trying to look like they are some hip hop rapper or some One Night Stander Slut or some daddy with thick fat wallets. Most of them look casual. As standard as it is, metro sexual look. Classy with fashion tight jeans or some hot pants. Oh. Reminds me. I guess the dance floor got pretty hot that some hunks took off their tops. Yes Ririn. Hunks. Not like Bob we know but nevertheless, HUNKS.




So will I go to PLAY again? Maybe. If I have the time. Maybe Friday. See if the crowd are different from Saturday. Hopefully I would bring a friend maybe Ririn and ShieldLeo to watch the crowd with me this time. Haha. Yes. I wasn't really dancing. Through out my 3 hours there, I was listening to the music being played and watching the crowd. Well, it was no where I was ogling, just observing.




So, wanna PLAY?

RedRulz