Truth is out..

This will be my first time updating at my sister's home. Like, finally she got an internet at home. Nowadays I've been staying with her, pretty much the weekdays. Only weekends I'll be going home just to save up on transportation that is and another some private stuff which I rather keep it to myself. No point in saying it here as it's a family matter.



So I guess even a free and easy willed guy have a sensitive side eh? Who doesn't? Everybody have a heart and a brain to think to act as it own free will but what happen to someone when he or she started to depend on people's thought too much? What is he or she trying to convey? You can't think for yourself that you keep thinking I better check for a second opinion so that my life will be perfect.



What? Are you insane? What are you taking your life as? That one downfall means dooms day? Look up to the sky and smell the carbon monoxide. We are dying as every breath we take. You sure didn't think of that do you? Nothing can be perfect in this world. There's always be some flaws that you will go through and if you manage to perfect it on your own, you excel dependency.



What's this horoscope thing? Come on. You know your life better than some fake stuff guide. Not all the words they pour at you mean that's who you are. You life aren't something to be controlled or to be told. It's your choice and yours alone. Who are they to tell you what to do and how to lead your own life?



Yes I couldn't agree more even they are your friends but how do you know if your friends are not trying to pull you down. They may sound right but still the decision is still yours to make. Not them. You could seek advice but not asking cheat codes. Hell they don't even exist in the real world.



So what I'm trying to get at? Be Independent. Show us that you can stand up on your own two feet without using us as crutches. It have been painful to us even sometimes I don't even bother but it hurts me seeing my own friend being scrutinized badly right in front of me. Not that I blame them but it does kills me that I can't help it but to agree with them. Not because they are my friends but because it's a fact that facts doesn’t comes from a fictional story books.



Well that's off my chest, now I'm going to say something else. Something I've keep for so long.



First of all I would like to thank all my friends in my life for being a good friend to me. My 'rotten' mates. Sorry if I didn't get to meet up with you guys. I just feel like timing is not right and the group how we used to be are like different and I just feel outdated. Haha. Anyway there isn't a proper plan of meet up and that's why last minute calls don't work anymore. It's hard being famous.



Sorry to my poly mates for sometimes couldn't answer your calls and not getting to meet up often too. Like I've said it's hard being famous as so many people meeting me up and looking at you guys just feel different to me. You guys went ahead so far I just feel left out and I just feel I don't belong there. I'm one of those screwed up bastard that got trashed out of school just because two fucked up lecturers don't know how to teach their students and my repeated partner been busy plucking her pussy pubes that she also didn't thought of meeting me up to do our projects. So that's that and I just feel out.



Sorry to my GH cbtl mates. Even though as now I don't really talk to you guys or even contact all of you but I just feel sorry for being a bad friend. After I went for NS I just couldn't catch up with you as though I found a new family I throw you away. Been too long and I really don't know where to start to make it up. So I'm just so sorry.



My Eagles brothers in tekong and 4SIR. Great knowing you guys and I hope to see all of you soon no matter where ever we meet. If you see me do acknowledge me. I might be having another pair of eyes but my mind is somewhere else. Sorry to those who have seen me but I didn't acknowledge back. Maybe my mp3 was deafening my mind I forgot to say hi or maybe I was too shy to tell you that,"Oh you look familiar. Who are you again?" Some friend am I?



My entity family. Life has never been less fun with you guys. Everywhere and every time we are together laughter never miss us. Not forgetting those scary nights and freaky experience we've been through in those haunted places and after those experiences we had a good laugh about it. Sure it was fun but seems like the family getting smaller and smaller. I just wish we could go back the same as how we were and no hidden loops with killing vengeance on each other.



My secondary school friends thank you for the thick and thins going through our lives. It has been fun and really, meeting you guy up just feels like we are back in our 5 years of our teenage life again. Seems like things have never really change in our attitudes and sure, old jokes are still the best. The bowling and pool sessions sure gives us time to reminisce our old times.



So frankly, I feel I'm a bad friend and I just feel I don't deserve the credit that most of my friends give to me. To me every passing moment is a great memory which I just don't know what happen or what went wrong that changes everything. Was the word growing up? Or was the word called moving on? It's still clueless to me but one thing for sure.



I may not be there, but you're still in my mind.


RedRulz.