I wish to live happy but sadness is what I got.
I wish to love somebody but in the end hating myself more.
I wish to live with someone but ended up they left me alone.
I just want to make them happy but I suffered instead.
What am I to this world?
Why life ain't happy always?
Why can't life be always full of laughter?
Why can't I enjoy all those?
Why do someone I love have to go?
Why did they choose that path?
How can they be so blind?
My life and theirs lived differently.
We both being brought up differently.
But I believe we both need someone to lean on.
So why can't they lean on to me?
Why do they always thinks they found a way but still doing the problems?
Was it all reasons or was it all fake?
Either way none solve their problems at all.
Why was I so blind?
Why didn't I see these coming?
Why am I being given this gift?
Why am I a dreamer?
Dreams that I have are opposite to the real world.
God, why did you gave me this gift?
Why only I feel this pain?
Why can't they feel what I feel?
Why can't normal people help me?
Why can't I be happy as them?
Why am I suffering?
Why?
Why do people loves to take the easy way out?
Why can't they face the real fact?
Why can't they be normal?
Why can't they changed?
Why do people love to abuse themselves?
Why do they take risk of getting themselves in trouble?
Why do they do stupid things, knowing they are harming their body?
God, why do people do all these things?
Why do people invent such horrible apparatus?
Why they kept shooting their veins until it can't be seen?
Why do people play with these things?
Why can't they be more into becoming someone useful?
Why do they keep doing it knowing it's not even helping them to think?
God why do they do the things they do?
Why did you even create such thing in this world?
Why?
Suffering. Despair. Regrets. Hate. Anger. Sorrow. Fear.
Was that the reason?
Was this why people do what they do?
Is that really the easy way out?
NO!
I don't believe that!
You're just hurting yourselves more.
More SUFFERING!
More DESPAIR!
More REGRETS!
More HATE!
More ANGER!
More SORROW!
More FEAR!
It's not helping.
It's destroying you.
It's killing you.
Helping a man to earn a living?
Hah!
By getting yourself in trouble?
How honorable is that?
STUPID!
Not such a smart answer for a smart person.
I need to kill.
I need to kill someone.
I need to kill someone badly.
Yes.
Yes I'm insane.
Living in this world brings about my insanity that I need to kill someone.
Blood.
Let me see blood.
Let me.
Die.
..
.
.
.
.
Dear god,
Forgive me for what I've sinned.
Forgive those who have sinned to me.
Forgive all those people who have sinned to you.
For they are only human.
For they are your creations.
Please.
Bring them back to the light.
Let them be free from the black hole.
Give them hope to live again.
Set them free from misery for as I will bear that burden.
For all I know.
.
.
.
I'm just a sacrifice.
.
.
.
Take my life.
Let me leave this world.
For I can no longer bear to see.
Killing for the sake to killing.
Stealing for the sake of abusing.
Robbing for the sake of thrilling.
Lying for the sake of gaining trust.
I can't live in this world anymore.
Too much suffering I've felt.
A quarter of a century of my life is enough.
No more.
No.
I can't leave.
For my love one will be much more despair if I leave.
Hate.
Regrets.
Anger.
Sorrow.
Fear.
So tell me now.
What should I do?
Please.
Show me the way.
Guide me.
Help.
I need help.
I'm suffering.
Please.
Help..
4th April 2009, 3.37AM
RedRulz
I wish to love somebody but in the end hating myself more.
I wish to live with someone but ended up they left me alone.
I just want to make them happy but I suffered instead.
What am I to this world?
Why life ain't happy always?
Why can't life be always full of laughter?
Why can't I enjoy all those?
Why do someone I love have to go?
Why did they choose that path?
How can they be so blind?
My life and theirs lived differently.
We both being brought up differently.
But I believe we both need someone to lean on.
So why can't they lean on to me?
Why do they always thinks they found a way but still doing the problems?
Was it all reasons or was it all fake?
Either way none solve their problems at all.
Why was I so blind?
Why didn't I see these coming?
Why am I being given this gift?
Why am I a dreamer?
Dreams that I have are opposite to the real world.
God, why did you gave me this gift?
Why only I feel this pain?
Why can't they feel what I feel?
Why can't normal people help me?
Why can't I be happy as them?
Why am I suffering?
Why?
Why do people loves to take the easy way out?
Why can't they face the real fact?
Why can't they be normal?
Why can't they changed?
Why do people love to abuse themselves?
Why do they take risk of getting themselves in trouble?
Why do they do stupid things, knowing they are harming their body?
God, why do people do all these things?
Why do people invent such horrible apparatus?
Why they kept shooting their veins until it can't be seen?
Why do people play with these things?
Why can't they be more into becoming someone useful?
Why do they keep doing it knowing it's not even helping them to think?
God why do they do the things they do?
Why did you even create such thing in this world?
Why?
Suffering. Despair. Regrets. Hate. Anger. Sorrow. Fear.
Was that the reason?
Was this why people do what they do?
Is that really the easy way out?
NO!
I don't believe that!
You're just hurting yourselves more.
More SUFFERING!
More DESPAIR!
More REGRETS!
More HATE!
More ANGER!
More SORROW!
More FEAR!
It's not helping.
It's destroying you.
It's killing you.
Helping a man to earn a living?
Hah!
By getting yourself in trouble?
How honorable is that?
STUPID!
Not such a smart answer for a smart person.
I need to kill.
I need to kill someone.
I need to kill someone badly.
Yes.
Yes I'm insane.
Living in this world brings about my insanity that I need to kill someone.
Blood.
Let me see blood.
Let me.
Die.
..
.
.
.
.
Dear god,
Forgive me for what I've sinned.
Forgive those who have sinned to me.
Forgive all those people who have sinned to you.
For they are only human.
For they are your creations.
Please.
Bring them back to the light.
Let them be free from the black hole.
Give them hope to live again.
Set them free from misery for as I will bear that burden.
For all I know.
.
.
.
I'm just a sacrifice.
.
.
.
Take my life.
Let me leave this world.
For I can no longer bear to see.
Killing for the sake to killing.
Stealing for the sake of abusing.
Robbing for the sake of thrilling.
Lying for the sake of gaining trust.
I can't live in this world anymore.
Too much suffering I've felt.
A quarter of a century of my life is enough.
No more.
No.
I can't leave.
For my love one will be much more despair if I leave.
Hate.
Regrets.
Anger.
Sorrow.
Fear.
So tell me now.
What should I do?
Please.
Show me the way.
Guide me.
Help.
I need help.
I'm suffering.
Please.
Help..
4th April 2009, 3.37AM
RedRulz
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