The peak of my suffering..

Time.

That's something I don't have much.
Time, it's something I've wasted so much.
Time, it's something is precious to everyone.
Time, it's something I believe I'm running out of.

My heart pounding harder nowadays.
My brain feels dead.
My body feels light and heavy at the same time.
I feel tired all the time.

Is it time?
For me?
Is it a sign?
Or is it a warning?
I don't know.
What's wrong with me?

I can't sleep at night.
At times when I'm suppose to be sleeping, I'm walking.
I'm watching.
I'm typing.
I'm talking.
I'm playing.
But never sleep.

5 hours a day.
Am I destroying myself?
Or am I becoming Insomniac?
Why am I this way?
Why didn't I just go to sleep?
Why do I keep myself awake?
And why the short hours?
Was it because I'm scared to dream?

I'm the Dreamer.
The dreams that I dream came true.
Am I starting to fear my own dreams?
Probably?
Or I just want myself to suffer?
I don't know what do I want anymore.
Seems to me my life is pointless.

Pressured.
Something I'm not good at handling.
Feels like giving up.
Am I giving up now?
Of the things I've been fighting for?
My own happiness.
My own peace.
My own love.
My love.

Tears.
Why do they come out when I wanted to give up my life?
Do I feel regrets?
Am I scared of the pain?
Or I was thinking of the people that will mourn for me?
My friends.
My family.
My loved ones.
Yes.
I suppose so.

So I must live on.
I need to see this chapter through.
I need to stay strong.
I need to be strong.
For my love one.
For my future.
For the sake of our future.
I need to know how the story continues.
And hopefully, it'll take to the end of my last breathe.
I love you.
So please stay with me.

I'm sorry.
I'm so into you.
I need you.
So please, stay with me.
I promise, I'm staying with you.
No matter what happens, I'll always love you.
Nothing can change my mind.
No one can change my mind but you.
As right now, I'm yours to command.
Call me crazy.
I am.
Crazy about you.

Together we are unstoppable.
Together we'll supporting one another.
In our ups and down.
We'll go through it all.
Together, we can accomplish anything.
And together, we are complete as one.
I love you.

25th May 2009, 9.50pm.
RedRulz